America Beach

America Beach is a guide to the fictional America Beach, run by head lifeguard Chad Chadwick. It mostly comprises the various rules and regulations that Chad imposes on beachgoers.

Summary
Chad introduces himself as the head lifeguard of America Beach, then upon the Beachgoer's arrival issues his first rule: No running on the beach. He then goes on to elaborate that, while you may bring a dog, the dog is subject to all the same rules - including, yes, no running on the beach.

Chad next describes his ban on eating: in addition to bringing food, he prohibits eating sand or leaves, as well as partaking in cannibalism (which the Beachgoer is attempting). After that, Chad describes the safety policy, which bans pushing people from boats, rafts, or the dock. When the Beachgoer attempts the latter, Chad turns it against him by pushing the Beachgoer from the dock. The next section is the decency rules, which simply require clothing; a troublesome rule, since dogs need to follow it too.

The final section details the rest of America Beach's "fun rules" - all babies must wear swim diapers, no horseplay, no diving off the dock, no flipping off the dock, no flipping off the lifeguard, no pigplay, no drowning, no alcohol, no littering, no stealing, no dinosaurplay, and no ugly mustaches.

After the credits roll, the Beachgoer is seen thanking Chad for the wealth of information, still soaked from being pushed off the dock.

Cast
Chad Chadwick (Clay) - A drill sergeant-esque head lifeguard with a passion for his many rules.

Beachgoer (Bill) - Chad's foil, and a frequent rules violator.

Dog (Percy) - A dog who runs afoul of Chad's rules.

Trivia

 * This was the first B/C Film edited with Adobe Premiere Elements.
 * Chad Chadwick was almost a character in The Best Corpse of Action, but the idea was vetoed.